Learning

I have never thought that anyone would want to hear anything about my life or my day or about me. It may be my low self esteem. I know that I am important at least I tell myself that and try to believe it.

So for me to even want to blog and share even the slightest bit of my day and think people would find it interesting enough to read seems strange to me.

But if It helps me then I guess it can't be to bad to do a blog post a day recapping what happened.

Today, Friday Dec 19, 2014, was a LONG  day at work. Some of my coworkers are exhausting.

One coworker is new so I am trying to be patient with her lack of knowledge about the computer, sending emails, saving files (pdf etc) and doing anything in Excell.

Another coworker pretty much plays on the internet or her phone all day long and then complains around 4 that she is so far behind and has so much to do and then stays an extra half hour at the end of the day, when she had plenty of time during the day to finish her work.

I finished my work before 1:00 today. I took a full hour lunch, and left on time from work.

The fourth co worker works just as hard as I do. Gets all of her work done. Understands her job pitches in when needed and is just a great person.

we are at the new building and I am no longer sitting in the corner in front of a window. There are people all around me now. People talking to each other and not to me. I get IM's every once in a while. but that is pretty much it.

I was asked today by the new coworker why I was still at the company because of my degree, knowledge and work ethic. actually she asked all three of us.

the playing coworker puts on a good show around people saying what she thinks she wants people to hear but then we feel that she would go and tell others what was discussed. I try not to talk around that co worker especially things I don't want others to know.

Searching

I have just spend the last hour looking and and reading blogs by people. The people that wrote the blogs are very open about their life, everything about their life and I am not sure if I could ever be that open with total strangers.
I wonder if God is calling me to be more open, honest, vulnerable. I am not sure if I can.

I feel so lost sometimes. Work, church, friends. The only thing that I am sure about is that Jesus loves me, that he has the best in store for me and my relationship with the husband.

There are times that I feel that it is only my husband and I like he is my only friend. I don't make friends easily. I can count on one hand the people that I feel that I can be truly honest with. My husband being one of them.


It seems like everyone in my family is searching at the moment.
I mean the daughter is living for herself and I can only assume that she is searching for her own way. I just pray that God finds her and she listens and runs back to him.

The son is constantly searching for his own way, I just pray that he leans on God and just accepts that we are not meant to know all the answers to everything. We sometimes just need to lean on our faith and go on about our day.