So our son got a message today from our daughter. and apparently she thinks that we keep choosing her estranged husband over her. She has basically disowned her brother, father and I. She only talks to her Mother and that side of the family. We aren't choosing either one of them.
Not many people know what is going on with the Daughter. After Easter 2013 she left her husband. She told us that he was abusive (verbally). We do not know anything about this because we allowed her to live her life with her husband. We did not interfere. We only hung out with them like 3 times the entire 2 years or so that they were married.
She was extremely controlling and awful to her brother when they were little. He is 5 and a half years younger than her. She somehow got it in her brain that she was supposed to take care of him and it was not her job. That growing up experience has made a horrible awful feeling of animosity from the son towards her. I was not around for that time frame so I can not speak to one way or another. Either way lots of healing needs to be done and that can only be done with God.
When she left her husband she told us that she left him because of the abuse (her words). We later found out that she left him for another man. She left her husbands home and instantly went to the other males home. This other man has been nothing but disrespectful to us three. She does not get when we tell her that we don't agree with the lifestyle she has chosen. I wonder if we would feel the same way if she was single and guy jumped the way she has. What if she had decided to be gay. I guess we will never know the issue we had with the relationship is the fact that she is still, yes still, married. I think her estranged husband has written up a divorce "settlement" (not sure if that is the right word) and I guess she may want to sign it but not sure. The only thing that is keeping her from signing it is her and her boyfriend.
I am just at a loss. This makes me feel like an absolute failure as a mom, even though I am only a step mom to her. I feel like I have not had any impact on her life and since her father and I have taken this stand and I have not spoken to her in a year. Her dad got a message at Christmas I did not.
I do have a hope of redemption of sorts with the son. He seems to be on the right track with the decisions that he is constantly making.
So today she "attacked" my son and the organization that he is involved in and she attacked the Masons. I know that my son is not a mason but my father is and my grandfather was. That post was what prompted my son to respond to her. She manipulated him to get him to talk to her. That is exactly how she does things. If others opinions or convictions do not coincide with hers she will manipulate in order to get the reaction she wants or any reaction at all.
I know that her father and I's reaction to the life she chooses to live is the same thing but we have told her repeatedly that we would be more than willing to spend time with her alone. We were not ready to spend time with her and the boyfriend especially since she is still married. She can not understand why. She said she would not come see us unless we saw her new boyfriend too. so she pushed her self away. She told us that she would not be alone with us so we could force our opinions on her and make her think the way that we do. What she does not understand is that we have not had that type of control over her like that since she was 14. We did however at that time have the law on our hands and told her that she had to abide by our rules. Once she turned 18 she could do what she wanted and have to answer for herself.
Just rambling now.
anyway be praying for our family. Daughter , son, mom and dad. (even though she does not even see me as a mom or a step mom anymore).