Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Missing people

Sitting here looking at facebook and realizing how much I miss people in my life. Those people that I miss I can not even talk to. I miss my grandma, she would not come back for anything. She is with Jesus and I would not ask her to come back. I am just sorry that I did not ask her questions when she was alive. Breaks my heart everyday.

I miss my step daughter. I can't tell her cause she would not believe me anyway. She had said on facebook once that I was the worst thing that happened to the family in the last six years. She will not talk to her dad or I. We don't know anything that is going on with her life. She wanted us to leave her alone and let her make her own decisions, sowe did and she hates us I just don't understand it.

I am trying to believe all the times that she said that she loved me she really meant it.

I love both of my kids (stepkids). Whether they believe it or not. Everything I have done since Matt and I got married was try to do the best for Matt and A and Z. Sometimes I can not do anything right where the kids are concerned.

Just need some peace regarding A and knowing that the decision that was made to let her live her own life and the fact that she has totally left us in her past and it does not even seem to bother her.

Oh well. She is in God's hands. The best place for her to be is in God's hands. I pray for her constantly. I pray that God will keep her safe and draw her to him. I also pray fo her husband that he would find Jesus as well and be the leader that Jesus can turn him into where his kids and his wife is concerned.

All of my posts seem to be depressing Not sure why. I will try to be more positive in the next post that I do.

In Christ.


Hilary de Haan said...

I admire your transparency. Thank you for sharing your heart. Sometimes we just need to pour out our heart...don't apologize for being down hearted. You and Matt are going through a lot and it's good for your friends to know what to be praying for. Love you (((hugs)))

Mrs.Gregory said...

Thank you