Invisible

So lately (mostly at work) I have been feeling very invisible.

I don't expect to have a BFF at work but I would like some common courtesy. You know the occasional hi, the random conversation, maybe the invite out to lunch with the group, a smile back when I smile at you ... Common Courtesy.

But apparently that is asking to much.

This past week or two at work I have felt like everything I have done is wrong. I have felt that the people I work with (boss included) only wanted to talk to me when they needed something fixed, researched or I needed to help them with something. Any other time it is Tammy.... Tammy who.... I don't know a Tammy.

So I posted this "it is like I am invisible" on facebook one day when EVERYONE in the office went out to lunch and NO ONE invited me. Again, not looking for a BFF, just a little courtesy.

So now at work I go in. I put my headphones in, listen to music and do my work. I don't talk to anyone, cause they don't talk to me I do my work, take my lunch, interact with those who actually interact with me first, leave for the day and come home to my husband and son who love me.

I keep hoping that God will just neon sign his will for me and it will be super clear. None of this guessing stuff, or the feeling of "am I doing this because I had a bad day or is this a door that God has opened" feeling.

It may just be me but I guess I will know one day. Today is just not that day.