Church

So lately I have been very defeated about church. Now I know we are not supposed to go to church to make friends, but to learn about god and worship in a group setting.

So for December 2013 Matt and I were not able to go to church for one reason or another. We had started a new Sunday school class a couple months before so we we're fairly new.  The entire month of December no one .  I mean no one from the class called or sent an email ( yes the class had both our numbers and email addresses) we were able to go back to church this Sunday and it was ok I guess.

On Christmas Eve whew met to our Christmas Eve service. The day before (the 23rd) I was in an accident that totaled our van. Our only working car. Needless to say Christmas sucked. Thankfully we were able to use my parents car for Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. We got a rental car on Thursday morning. So back to Christmas Eve. Matt and I got to church just in time for the service to start   I was a little stiff from the wreck so Matt was trying to not have me walk all around the sanctuary looking for a seat. We walked past so many people that we knew that just looked at us. No one offered to let us sit with them. No one scooted over to offer us a seat. Looking back kinda how Mary and Joseph were treated he night Jesus was born. That night both Matt and I felt that we were totally not welcome at our home church.

So that Led me to another realization should you continue going to a church where you don't feel welcome just so you don't forsake the gathering. I don't know. We haven't stopped going to church there not yet at least. We are waiting for God to tell us or lead us where we need to go.

Connecticut 12-14-12

So Facebook and news and probably Twitter have exploded today with updates regarding the shooting in Connecticut.

This shooting is so heartbreaking.... any shooting is really.... what was this young man going through that he felt the need to open fire on elementary students and teachers..... He apparently had lost all hope in his life and no one there to help him through it.

I can not imagine being the parent, grandparent, aunt/uncle, cousin, friend of the children and the adults that were shot this morning.  Such sadness that children should never have to experience....

But just remember God knew this was going to happen, this is not to take any thing away from the coverage of the tragedy..we just have to remember we are so small compared to God.....

Lots of thoughts running through my mind right now.. no answers just speculation.

Praying for the families that lost loved ones.. Christmas will forever be a hard time in their life...


I pray that the children that survived are not scared to go back to school, I pray that they can sleep well in time.. I pray the same thing for the adults.

Work

Be praying for me that I will be aware of God's voice in my life if there is a move in the future.

passion

I have been thinking lately about passion. I know lots of people that absolutley love what they do for a living. Dont get me wrong. I like my job. I get paid decent for what I do. But...... if someone asked me if I would continue doing what I currently do if the money stopped I don't know if I would.

I started thinking about what I like to do and the things I came up with I dont think I could make a career out of. So I guess My prayer to God would be what is my passion? What exactly do you have me here for?

Guess now I just need to be still and wait on the Lord. 

Psalm 27:10  "Wait for the Lord, be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord"

I know He will answer me in His timing. The hardest thing would be staying still and waiting.

Dentist

So I went to the Dentist this morning. I have to get a root canal. I am so not happy with this. I am not sure when I will schedule the root canal probably after I have the money to pay for it. Cried on the way to the pharmacy to fill my prescription for an antibiotic to get rid of the puffy gum in my mouth. they are HUGE. I am going to have to put the filling of the capsules on something that I eat to get the medicine in my system.
Totally not the way I wanted to start my Wednesday. I guess it is good that I was 36 before my first big issue with my teeth came up.

New Testament and Dentists.

So today starts day 72 of my Bible in 90 days adventure. Only 18 more days to go and I got into the New Testament yesterday. I have to say so far the NT is a much easier read than the OT. Granted it is only Matthew, when I get to Revalation I may change my tune. When I am done with this adventure I need to figure out what to do next. I am looking on the web to see if there are any great Bible studies out there. There are I am just having a hard time figuring out where God wants me to read after this is done. Not sure. But I am sure that if I am diligent in prayer God will show me where he wants me to study in 18 days. but until then I will keep looking. Maybe something will jump out at me and I will just know that this is what I am supposed to be reading.

On a different note I have to go to the dentist on Wednesday morning. I HATE dentists. Not the people specifically , the job. They have needles and drills and iflict pain. Not exactly how I want to spend my Wednesday morning. I could probably avoid it if my tooth did not hurt and my gum wasnt puffy..but since it hurts to chew on that side of my mouth guess I have to go get it taken care of.  Guess all morning I need to make sure Phillipians 4:6-7 is running through my mind.
God does not want me to be anxious He wants me to give it all to him. Maybe I should start praying for peace and calm now. GRRRRR I hate having these feelings, but I guess it is normal. My husband will be there so that will make me feel better. He is a very calming presence.

Bible in 90 days

So I have been consistently reading through the Bible in 90 days. Some days are harder than others and I am probably missing things as I read anywhere from 8 to 15 chapters a day. After this is done I am going to have to keep making the reading of God's word a priority in my day. Maybe not as extensive as 8 to 15 chapters a day but something that will help me in my daily walk. Thank goodness for the You Version App on my Iphone and Ipad this way I can at least do some type of reading after this is over.

I realized during this challenge that I am really bad about praying. Maybe that needs to be my next mini goal to pray consistently for so many days. I know that is one of the ways God talks to us just have never been taught how to pray so I am self teaching at this point in my life both with both Bible study and prayer. There is probably a lot more that I need to learn I think God is starting on these two items first.

Although I am kind of afraid to ask God for anything because I know he will answer and I am not sure how ready I am to be radical. I know that sounds bad but I would rather be honest with my self and where I am than to make others think that I am all together and ready for everything when I am not.