Memorial Day Weekend

Memorial Day weekend was relaxing..  We sold our Nissan back to Car Max, where we bought it. This enabled us to go shopping over the weekend. I have to tell you we did not save any of it. but you know that is ok because this money was not in our budget. I finally got my iPad that I have wanted for over a year. Matt made me buy some things I needed because I wont do it by my self. and I got some cute clothes as well. I feel like the majority of the money we got for the car was spent on me and I actually hate that because there is always someone more deserving of the money or I could buy cute things for my friends or family. I have to tell you I do not regret buying my iPad. I LOVE IT!!!!!! I also do not regret buying the clothes or the underthings that Matt made me buy. The only thing I do regret is that one of the things (clothes) that I wanted to buy somehow did not make it to the check out. That kinda bums me out but you know it is just clothing.

we looked up a drivers education school to enroll Z in and I am glad that we have some of the money left so we wont have to use any of our budgeted money for the drivers ed. Ok so now for my freak out moment, I AM NOT READY FOR HIM TO BE DRIVING!!!!!! ok I am better. Z driving is a good thing it just means that he is growing up and pretty soon he will be out of our house. It is a really good thing that Matt and I love spending time together and that we get several days throught out the week to enjoy each others company.

Since we no longer have to put money out for the car payment, our house payment went down our gas (for the car ) will go down as well and we will start figuring out what to do with the money first. You know like should we put the money in savings first or start chunking that money on our second mortgage and that horrible thing paid off more quickly. That is something that Matt and I have to decide. but you know just having that "extra" money each month is such a relief.

Ok so saying all that I will sum up by saying that I am deeply grateful for Matt to "give up" spending a lot of money on himself in order to let me have what I want and somethings I need. He is the best husband, friend, supporter that I could hav ever asked for.  I LOVE HIM!!!!!

Work Part 3

So this morning I had an idea to take off Tuesday and Wednesday of next week. Make it an extra long weekend due to Memorial day. So when I got to work I emailed my boss and asked her if I could take off those two days. So she called me into her office and talked to me about it and said she doesn't like telling people no on their vacation but that is exactly what she told me. She told me no on those days. She said it was to late of notice and since they are days right after a holiday she is worried that my back up will not be able to get the work done..   but I hate to say it but if it had been one of the other two workers (not my back up) she would have let them.... so frustrating... so along with the no on vacation for those two days and one of my coworkers handing me a lockbox for a company and a system I haven't done in months and then not sitting with me to "train" me just pushed me over the edge and I bawled....

So  I will be taking off July30 through August 3rd... My birthday week... I will be gone for a week and I will not worry about anything here.   I will have plenty of time to train my back up for the work. And Month end processes wont start until the week after anyway...


So there bad day. take that....

Now should I plan something for that week or just be a bum and do nothing all week at home?!?! 

I guess we will see..

work part two

So at our meeting yesterday to discuss the new company coming on at work I was told that I need to train more on one system that we already use, I have used this system before just not consistently. And I will have to use the system of the company that is coming on June 1 2012, because I am every ones backup. I am the secondary back up for the two companies that are not on the system I use every day. I am the primary back up for the other lady that works in the system that I do primarily.  I guess one thing that is good about the fact that I need to train more on the two systems is that I will not be sitting at my desk with nothing to do. I will be sitting at someone elses desk taking notes. I guess it is not to bad that I am everyone's back up but I also don't want to be taken advantage of. I don't want my coworkers to think that because I am always here that they can not show up and I will take up the slack. I know I will but that is beside the point.

Guess I better go update my resume with all the other "duties" that I have done. You never know when you will need a completed Resume.  Must be prepared for God's open door no matter what that looks like.

Purpose

So for the last almost 40 days (tomorrow would be 40 days) we as a small group have been reading the Purpose Driven Life to celebrate the time between Easter and Pentecost.  I haven't been real consistent in my reading and I probably have 3 or four chapters left to finish the book but the parts I have read have kept my mind going about my purpose and listening to God's voice. Both are elusive to me at this point in my life. My purpose is just hidden and God's voice is just not familiar to me yet. Hate to admit that but it is true. This past week at work has been a tough one. For one thing I have been getting all of my work done before noon... You heard me all of my work done before noon. so after lunch I sit at my desk and think and look at items and try to learn and wait for emails to come in. Don't get me wrong I love my job.. much better than the past ones I have had but I am one of these people that if I have a job to do and I am getting paid for it then I want work to do as well. I don't know if work is just getting slower or I am getting more efficient I would love to think it is the latter, I don't want to go looking for a new job..  I am content here.. sounds off track from my original thought but maybe it is not. Maybe my slow week has been God getting my attention. I am not sure. I will probably be complaining about the fact that next week I can not see to catch my breath.

Who knows I guess I will just keep praying and I know God will direct my path individually and our path as a family. Who knows where he will lead us. Pretty soon it will be Matt and I , three years goes pretty fast, since Z is almost 16 he will be a Sophomore for next school year and then before you know it going to college. Good thing Matt and I like each other and like hanging out together if not in three years we would be in a world of trouble.

Friendship

So tonight while looking at twitter and Facebook (both of which I should stop looking at) I started to feel very depressed about my life. Don't get me wrong I love Jesus, my husband, and kids, but I don't feel like I have any really close friends. You see I see other girlfriends going to dinner, or getting pedicures or just hanging out for a weekend. My friends and I don't do that. By then I have to remember all of my friends have young children I don't have young children I have older children (the way I feel that other people see that is a whole other blog post). So hanging out seems a little bit more difficult because husbands have to agree to watch kids for the wives or babysitters have to be acquired and that puts a time frame on how long we have to hang out. Matt and I are in the empty neat phase of life and the people in that phase are at least 14 years older than me and then I just lok like a child to them . My prayer is that God will make me the type of friend others need and bring a close friend or two that will speak to me and that I can speak into their life as well. That friend may already be in my life and I hope they are cause I really hate he initial stage of friendship which is why I don't have very many friends.

Lent Season

So last night at the Ash Wednesday Service, no I am not Catholic or any other predominant religion that usually observes the Lent Season, but that does not stop our church. Our pastor has instituted a "taking back" of the season from the world, to take the focus from Easter bunny, chocolate and eggs to the real focus, Jesus' sacrifice to make each and everyone of us a child of his to spend an eternity with Him.

All that to say....the Ash Wednesday service last night was powerfull. I made it all the way through the service with out crying until.... we started singing "It Is Well"... with Matt's current setback with his disability, and the fact that we owe the state and IRS this year for taxes. To be totally honest these two things alone are not "well with my soul", I realized this last night as the first words of that song were sung. I cried, I wanted to keep crying, I still want to cry. Last night several people came up to us because Matt was using his walker instead of walking under his own power, (very hard for me to see). It took all of my power not to cry all the way home (the three min from the church LOL and that is only because there is a park zone between the church and home.) but I digress.

I have had a LOT of cynicism about church lately. People walked by asked how I was, I don't truly beleive they really care to know exactly how I am. So I tell them Fine with tears in my eyes barely making eye contact. No one presses or asks me "really, are you sure".

This is a long time coming, Matt and I haven't been to the Sunday School class that we have gone to for about a year for a month and a half, no one, not one person has called, texted, facebooked or dropped by to see if there is anything wrong. Now granted I don't claim to be the best at checking up on people, but I also don't lead a Sunday School group or small group either.

There are friends that I keep up with, but for the most part I don't want to feel pushy or needy. I don't want to feel like I am imposing my self or "friendship" on people. Out of all of my life I can count maybe 3 people that I feel comfortable with. That is really sad out of 35 years. I look around and see all these people with so many others seeming like they truly care about others around them and I don't feel that. I don't think I have ever felt that.

I believe what Jesus was asking me to "give up" this Lent Season was animosity and cynicism reagarding the church and His people. I need to realize that people are people, not perfect. The only perfect one and the only one that I can always rely on is Jesus.

He will never leave me not even to the end of the age as Matt 28:20 states.

The Blind Side

I am reading The Blind Side by Michael Lewis. This is the book that the movie is made out of.

OH MY WORD!!!!!

If we as Christians did half of the stuff that the Tuohy's did for Michael Oher there would be no need in this world. No hungry, cold or uneducated children.

Don't get me wrong I know that the majority of Christians do not have the money that the Tuohy's had/have, but we can serve with what God gives us no matter how small we may think it is.

We all have talents that we should be using for God. Trust me I am the biggest offender here.

Not even half way through this book and I am super convicted because of their kindness to a kid that had nothing.